As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
