shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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