There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
