Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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