Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
