going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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