It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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