i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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