If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
