also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
