she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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