yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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