whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
