Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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