Fine. I'll sleep in my office
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
