I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You made out with two different species that night
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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