I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
