Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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