Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
