yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Nicole vs. Life
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
