It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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