Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He felt like a one man threesome
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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