I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
