The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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