I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
