Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
