if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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