Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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