holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
