its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
