Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
