it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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