just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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