This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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