5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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