Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
