think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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