this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Mom said you looked used
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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