Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
