i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
