I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
