the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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