He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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