you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
