can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
