this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
