Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
