Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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