There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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