Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
