I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize