moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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