i really wish james franco would like my vagina
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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