dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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