Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
