apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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