so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Randomize
