Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
