she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
