Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
NoShamevember. You game?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
